This past weekend, I was listening to my karate sensei—an 85-year-old elder and founder of a karate style named Washin-ryu (or Peace/Harmony with Truth)—who regularly shares his thoughts and wisdom gleaned over his long life with his students. He once again said something deeply profound. He said: when you are angry, just imagine looking up at an eagle flying overhead. That was it. That simple. Well, I tried it, adjusted a bit for my bioregion and personal experience—I am far more familiar with red-tailed hawks, and see them regularly, and I do feel a great calm and joy when seeing them.
So I’ve been trying that. And amazingly it’s working (at least so far). I lose my temper easily, and have tried a variety of ways to extend the time between trigger and response. After reading one of the Dune novels, there was a simple mantra “Disengage, disengage,” that the main character would use when triggered with anger. And I would use that, which helped sometimes, but not consistently.1
Before that, as I wrote about in an earlier reflection, I tried to reframe the intentionality of the trigger. Look at the situation from either the triggerer’s perspective—like when someone takes your parking spot, they’re in their own world, probably not even noticing your existence. Or remove their agency, imagining them like a cow lying down in that spot. You wouldn’t dream of exploding on a cow—you know she didn’t take that action maliciously after all. But that didn’t work very well, because I know humans have agency. And yes, many probably don’t recognize a perspective outside their own (especially in this hyper-individualistic culture) but that often just makes me more mad, not less! (Mad at the individual as well as this broader cultural, economic, and political system in which we live, a feeling that’s getting worse these days….)
It turns out that visualizing nature—mentally exiting for a moment to a tranquil space—creates a long enough pause to recenter, to respond in a measured, rather than explosive way. And if that still means matching aggression with aggression, that is possible, but it gives one a peaceful moment to determine how best to respond.
I have a lot more work before knowing if this has staying power, or if like ‘disengage, disengage,’ it is just the attempt du jour. But I thought I’d share this, particularly as it seems to be working, and is quite Gaian, calling on the tranquility of nature to bring calm back.
One note: if you try this, of course, you can substitute the flying hawk with any natural scene you value. The hawk—often flying over pines and cedars—has been a good anchor for me (particularly after one visited with me the day after the 2024 election). Though a simple visual of wind whistling through trees, or waves coming in off the ocean, or a babbling stream, or a deer looking up from grazing on the edge of a forest, or whatever natural scene brings you calm and joy may serve as a better anchor for you.
So give it a try, and if it works for you, share your thoughts and comments below.
Endnote
1) Perhaps because ‘disengage’ suggests trying to pull back. In karate, we learn that if someone grabs you, fruitlessly pulling against that isn’t going to work, rather moving into it or putting pressure against the weak spot (the thumb) is what will be effective. Further, this mantra also cultivated a feeling of surrender rather than broader perspective, which feels like it encourage suppressing rather than addressing the source of the anger.
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